Eggvolution | Focus Newspaper


chainsaw_headerSome time, in the not-too-distant future…

Due to possibilities of prior unreported incidents, when and where it actually began is a subject of debate and speculation to this day. However, history indicates that the first medically documented case was recorded in the 4th decade of the 21st century. Involving a young married couple in their twenties by the names of Henry and Henrietta Henderson, an identifying irony that would become apparent in the future.

Having been married for 3 years, they were trying to conceive their first child. And so, it was with some excitement when Henrietta awoke one morning to feel an unfamiliar pressure in her lower abdomen. She immediately requested Henry obtain a pregnancy test. In his own excitement, he procured several. To their disappointment all registered negative.

As the day progressed, Henrietta’s pressure turned into an aching discomfort. At Henry’s insistence they made an unscheduled visit to their obstetrician. At which, to the couple’s horror, an ultrasound revealed a large, oblong mass in Henrietta’s uterus. The doctor immediately sent them to the emergency room. 

Two hours later, after bloodwork, x-ray and CAT scan confirmed the OB/GYN’s findings, Henrietta was prepped for emergency surgery. To remove the unidentified foreign object from her womb. It was just moments before she was administered anesthesia that she went into labor.

Or rather what in future years would pass for labor. Henrietta is quoted as saying it being akin to a sensation of passing gas, heavy urination and diarrhea happening really fast all at once. With only a brief painful sensation at the birthing climax. There was no umbilical cord, afterbirth or blood. Just a lightly audible “pop” and then… between her legs… an egg.

An ultrasound on the “egg” itself revealed what appeared to be a mostly developed, humanoid fetus inside and a strong heartbeat. Most of the medical staff on hand felt it should be cracked open for further analysis. Fortunately, head surgeon Dr. Kenneth Clark, who’d worked his way through medical school at a chicken farm, was on hand and suggested further incubation and the couple agreed.

News leaked, it was a global media sensation and the now familiar term “chickee baby” was born. 21 days later, as the world watched, so too was the first chickee baby. She internally cracked and pushed her way out of her shell with a little help from mom and a human wail.

The chickee baby was human for all appearance… aside from some distinctive anomalies. Her eyes were slightly larger than a typical infant. There was a bony ridge on the forehead – used to exit the egg. Her legs were considerably longer than average. One doctor suggested they were built for running and Dr. Clark worried – from what? Most notable was the skin which was a light golden brown with fine blonde hairs lightly covering from head to toe.

It was incredible! It was a miracle! It was just the beginning! Within the next decade, regardless of race or continental location, the known birthing process ceased. Soon all births were egg laid chickee babies with the same characteristics as the first. And for the first time in a thousand years the human population plummeted.

Religious factions were in an uproar at these abominations. Anomalies that suggested Darwin might have been onto something. None of their scriptures contained a revelation about chickee babies.

Racial tensions reached an all-time high when the realization that we’d all be one before too long and nobody could argue about color-coordination. Some countries and cultures rejected and outright slaughtered their egg-born young. Abortions for unwanted chickee babies became as simple as dropping an egg.

Dr. Clark’s query of “from what?” had been answered. For their own safety, chickee babies were taken at birth to government incubation facilities. Then upon maturity placed into camps. Life must go on!

This scenario lasted as long as the human race did. Which was about another 40+ years. And then there were none. The chickee babies emerged from their camps/prisons to a whole new world that was all their own and would be of their own making. Because now there was no one to control them, guide them or get in the way of the established pecking order.

Don’t panic – this is all a metaphor. For what? Well, that’s for you to figure out.

I welcome almost all questions, comments via Focus, or e-mail me at [email protected]. Hope to hear from ya, until then try and stay focused! See ya.



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